TEH LOL SONG OF J! ALFRED PRUFROK OMG WTF

A POME BY T S ELIOT

S’IO CRADESE CHE MIA RISPOSTA FOSE
A PERSONA CHE MAE 2RNASE AL MONDO
QUESTA FIMMA STARIA SENZA PIU SCOSA!11!1!11 WTF LOL
MA PERCIOCHE GIMMAE DI QUAS2 FONDO
NON 2RNO VIVO ALCUN S’I’ODO IL VARO
SENZA TAMA D’INFMIA TI RISPONDO!11!! OMG WTF

LET US GO THAN U AND I
WHEN TEH EVENNG SI SPRED OUT AGANEST DA SKY
LIEK A PATEINT ETHERIESD UPON A TABLE
LET US GO THRU CERTANE HALF-DESARTED STRETS
THE MUTERNG RETREATS
OF RASTLAS NIGHTS IN ONE-NIGHT CHEAP HOTELS
AND SAWDUST RESTAURANTS WIT OYSTER-SHALS
STRETS TAHT FOLOW LIEK A TEDIOS ARGUMENT
OF INSIDIOS INTENT
2 LAAD U 2 AN OVERWHELMNG QUESTION…
O DO NOT ASK WUT SI IT”?!!?!!?!? WTF
LAT US GO AND MAEK OUR VISIT!!1111 OMG

IN TEH ROM DA WOMEN COME AND GO
TOKNG OF MICHELANGALO!1!!11 OMG WTF

THE YALOW FOG TAHT RUBS ITS BAK UPON TEH WINDOW-PAENS
THE YELOW SMOKE TAHT RUBS ITS MUZLE ON TEH WINDOW-PAENS
LIKAD ITS 2NGUE IN2 TEH CORNERS OF TEH EVENNG
LNGARED UPON TEH POLS TAHT STAND IN DRANES
LET FAL UPON ITS BAK TEH SOT TAHT FALS FROM CHIMNEYS
SLIPED BY DA TERAEC MAED A SUDAN LEAP
AND SENG TAHT IT WAS A SOFT OC2BR NIGHT
CURLED ONCE ABOUT TEH HOUES AND FAL ASLEP!1!!!1111 OMG WTF LOL

AND INDED THEIR WIL B TIEM
FOR DA YELOW SMOKA TAHT SLIEDS ALONG TEH STRET
RUBNG ITS BAK UPON DA WINDOW-PAENS
THARE WIL B TIEM THEIR WIL B TIEM
2 R A FAEC 2 MET DA FAECS TAHT U MET
THERE WIL B TIEM 2 MURDAR AND CREAET
AND TIEM FOR AL TEH WORKS AND DAYS OF HANDS
TAHT LIFT AND DROP A QUASTION ON UR PLAET
TIEM FOR U AND TIEM FOR ME
AND TIEM YAT FOR A HUNDRAD INDECISIONS
AND FOR A HUNDRED VISIONS AND RAVISIONS
BFORA TEH TAKNG OF A 2AST AND TEA!11!11!!!

IN DA ROM TEH WOMEN COME AND GO
TOKNG OF MICHALANGELO!1!!1!!!! OMG

AND INDED THEIR WIL B TIEM
2 WONDER “DO I DAER”?!!?! WTF LOL AND “DO I DAER”?!!!! OMG LOL
TIEM 2 TURN BAK AND DESCEND TEH STARE
WITH A BALD SPOT IN TEH MIDLA OF MAH HARE
[THEY WIL SAY “HOW HIS HARE SI GROWNG THIN”]!111!! LOL
MY MORNNG COAT MAH COLAR MOUNTNG FIRMLEY 2 DA CHIN
MY NAKTEI RICH AND MODEST BUT ASERTAD BY A SIMPLA PIN
[THEY WIL SAY “BUT HOW HIS ARMS AND LEGS R THIN”]!!111!1 OMG WTF
DO I R
DISTURB TEH UNIEVRSE?!?!!???! WTF
IN A MINUTE THEIR SI TIEM
FOR DECISIONS AND REVISIONS WHICH A MINUTE WIL REVARSE!!!1!! LOL

FOR I HAEV KNOWN THEM AL ALRAADY KNOWN THAM AL
HAEV KNOWN DA EVENNGS MORNNGS AFTERNONS
I HAEV MAASURED OUT MAH LIEF WIT COFFEE SPONS
I KNOW DA VOIECS DYNG WIT A DYNG FAL
BNAATH TEH MUSIC FROM A FARTHER ROM!1!11! OMG WTF
SO HOW SHUD I PRASUME?!!!!!? OMG WTF

AND I HAEV KNOWN DA EYAS ALREADY KNOWN THEM AL
THE EYES TAHT FIX U IN A FORMULAETD PHRAES
AND WHEN IM FORMULAETD SPRAWLNG ON A PIN
WHEN IM PINED AND WRIGLNG ON TEH WAL
THAN HOW SHUD I BGIN
2 SPIT OUT AL TEH BUT-ENDS OF MAH DAYS AND WAYS?!?!? OMG
AND HOW SHUD I PRESUME????!!??? WTF

AND I HAEV KNOWN DA ARMS ALREADY KNOWN THEM AL
ARMS TAHT R BRAECLETED AND WHIET AND R
[BUT IN DA LMPLIGHT DOWNED WIT LIGHT BROWN HARE]!11!!1!!1 LOL
IT SI PERFUMA FROM A DRAS
TAHT MAEKS ME SO DIGRES?!?!!??? WTF LOL
ARMS TAHT LEI ALONG A TABLE OR WRAP ABOUT A SHAWL!!!!!! OMG WTF
AND SHUD I THEN PRESUME?!????? LOL
AND HOW SHUD I BGIN

SHAL??!?????! LOL I SAY I HAEV GONE AT DUSK THROUGH NAROW STRETS
AND WATCHAD DA SMOKE TAHT RIESS FROM TEH PIEPS
OF LONELEY MAN IN SHIRT-SLEVAS LEANNG OUT OF WINDOWS…?!??! OMG LOL

I SHUD HAEV BAN A PARE OF RAGAD CLAWS
SCUTLNG ACROS TEH FLORS OF SIELNT SEAS

AND!!1!! OMG WTF DA AFTARNON TEH EVANNG SLEPS SO PEAECFULY!!!1!!!! OMG WTF LOL
SMOTHED BY LONG FNGARS
ASLEP… TIERD… OR IT MALNGARS
STRATCHED ON DA FLOR HERA BSIED U AND ME!!1!11!11 WTF LOL
SHUD I AFTER TEA AND CAEKS AND IECS
HAEV DA STRENGTH 2 FORCE TEH MOMANT 2 ITS CRISIS?!!!?!
BUT THOUGH I HAEV WEPT AND FASTED WEPT AND PRAEYD
THOUGH I HAEV SEN MAH HEAD (GROWN SLIGHTLEY BALD) BROUGHT IN UPON A PLATER
IM NO PROPHET AND HERE’S NO GREAT MATER
I HAEV SEN DA MOMANT OF MAH GREATNES FLIKER
AND I HAEV SEN TEH ETERNAL FOTMAN HOLD MAH COAT AND SNIKER
AND IN SHORT I WAS AFRADE!!!!1111! WTF LOL

AND WUD IT HAEV BEN WORTH IT AFTAR AL
AFTER DA CUPS DA MARMALAED DA TEA
MONG TEH PORCELANE MONG SOME TOK OF U AND ME
WUD IT HAEV BAN WORTH WHIEL
2 HAEV BITAN OF DA MATER WIT A SMIEL
2 HAEV SQUEZED DA UNIEVRSA IN2 A BAL
2 ROL IT 2WARD SOMA OVERWHELMNG QUESTION
2 SAY “IM LAZARUS COME FROM DA DAAD
COME BAK 2 TEL U AL I SHAL TAL U AL”
IF ONE SETLNG A PILOW BY HER HEAD
SHUD SAY “TAHT SI NOT WUT I MEANT AT AL!11!1! LOL
TAHT SI NOT IT AT AL”!1!1!!!!!

AND WUD IT HAEV BAN WORTH IT AFTER AL
WUD IT HAEV BAN WORTH WHIEL
AFTER DA SUNSETS AND DA DORYARDS AND TEH SPRINKLED STRETS
AFTER TEH NOVELS AFTER DA TEACUPS AFTER DA SKIRTS TAHT TRALE ALONG DA FLOR
AND THIS AND SO MUCH MORE????!!!? LOL
IT SI IMPOSIBLE 2 SAY JUST WUT I MEAN!111!!!!! OMG
BUT AS IF A MAGIC LANTARN THREW DA NARVES IN PATERNS ON A SCREN
WUD IT HAEV BAN WORTH WHIEL
IF ONE SETLNG A PILOW OR THROWNG OF A SHAWL
AND TURNNG 2WARD DA WINDOW SHUD SAY
“TAHT SI NOT IT AT AL
TAHT SI NOT WUT I MAANT AT AL”

NO!11!111! OMG IM NOT PRINCA HMLET NOR WAS MEANT 2 B
M AN ATENDANT LORD ONA TAHT WIL DO
2 SWAL A PROGRES START A SCENA OR TWO
ADVIES TEH PRINCE NO DOUBT AN AASY 2L
DAFERENTIAL GLAD 2 B OF UES
POLITIC CAUTIOS AND METICULOS
FUL OF HIGH SENTENCE BUT A BIT OBTUES
AT TIEMS INDED ALMOST RIDICULOS
ALMOST AT TIEMS DA FOL!!!1!111 OMG LOL

I GROW OLD… I GROW OLD…
I SHAL WEAR TEH BOTOMS OF MAH TROUESRS ROLED!!!11111! OMG WTF

SHAL I PART MAH HARE BHIND??!??! DO I R 2 EAT A PEACH?!?!!!!?! LOL
I SHAL WEAR WHIET FLANEL TROUESRS AND WOK UPON DA BACH!!!111!1 OMG WTF LOL
I HAEV HEARD TEH MERMADES SNGNG EACH 2 EACH!1!1!1!! LOL

I DO NOT THINK TAHT THEY WIL SNG 2 ME!1!!1 OMG WTF

I HAEV SEN THAM RIDNG SEAWARD ON DA WAEVS
COMBNG TEH WHIET HARE OF DA WAEVS BLOWN BAK
WHEN TEH WIND BLOWS DA W8R WHIET AND BLAK!11!1!! OMG WTF LOL

WA HAEV LNGERED IN TEH CHMBRS OF DA SEA
BY SEA-GIRLS WRAATHED WIT SAAEWED RED AND BROWN
TIL HUMAN VOIECS WAEK US AND WE DROWN!1!11 LOL