April 03, 2012

Barteletubby, the scrivener (A story of Wall-dreaming)

Barteletubby is a fictional humanoid scrivener whose face is pale, whose manners are passive, making him an eminently decorous person.

Unlike Tinky-Winky, Barteletubby the scrivener is not purple and does not have a triangular antenna on his head. Furthermore he does not carry a red bag and his behaviour does not suggest any homosexual qualities. Unlike Dipsy he is not green and the antenna on his head does not look like a dipstick. He does not usually wear a black and white furry top hat. However, Barteletubby is far more stubborn than Dipsy and will often refuse to go along with the other Teletubbies' group opinion. Unlike Laa-Laa, Barteletubby is not yellow, does not have a curly antenna and would never look out for the presence of others. He hates dancing and singing. He would never be seen bouncing on a huge orange ball. Unlike Po , Barteletubby is not red and his antenna cannot be used to blow soap bubbles. Barteletubby doe snot usually drive around on a “scoota” but has indeed proven to be mischievous and naughty on several occasions, often disobeying to the commands of the voice trumpets.

Barteletubby the scrivener would never really pay attention to some of the magical events that occur around him. Every now and then, mysterious pinwheels and a speaker rise from the earth to give him orders that he mostly ignores, refusing to be cheerful, to roll on the grass or to watch real scriveners working on the television screen that has been implanted in his belly. When he chooses to throw himself into a revery behind his screen, he would stand, motionless, looking out upon a dead brick wall.

While the other characters may gurgle such phrases as "Eh-oh", "Run away!”, “Boo”, "Bibberly cheese!" or “big hug”, Barteletubby the scrivener mostly remains silent. Barteletubby would leave the others sit down, fall over, rub their bellies and bottoms, bump into each other, kick their legs or jingle wildly, and would prefer not to be doing any of these things. Instead Barteletubby, with his cadaverously gentlemanly nonchalance, would stand alone, behind his screen, in an endless brick-wall reverie promoting, through his behaviour, passive bellyterature as he would personally never get involved in any writing activities.

Ah Barteletubby! Ah human E.T.!

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