Happy NUKE year

Voight-Kampff - How I did not write certain of my books

Writers of the future will be information managers.

Kenneth Goldsmith

Operator / Voight-Kampff

Known as Voight-Kampff, the operator would connect to the platform and challenge the data he had been working with for several months. The process and the tools below describe how he produced a so called work of fiction.

A MERRICK CHRISTMAS

David Baptiste Chirot & Xavier Srrn - Crash on BallardDay

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Initially published in Atroxhity, CrashTest Magazine

Artwork: David-Baptiste 

Txt: Xavier

Note: all the other works labelled "David-Baptiste Chirot" on this site were created and posted by David-Baptiste 

Abraham Zapruder - DIY Flipbook (recommended version)

To see the real story move, cut the following images and paste them on a pad. Flip the pages  (forward or backward) as if you were thumbing through a book.

Jorge Luis Burgess - A Clockwork BABEL

BURGESS / BORGES MASHUP
BABEL recontructed based on the Nadsat language invented by Anthony Burgess. (Request PDF)



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Other recent ebooks in the Crashtest series:
**You did'nt let finish my sentence: here
**Bartlebits (ersure / erosion): here

You didn't let me finish my sentence (new Crashtest project)

Jack Torrance (the character in Kubrick's movie the Shining) was obsessed with a sentence that he thought was unfinished and that he kept retyping on his typewriter. Following his own tragic experience, hundreds and thousands of anonymous authors borrowed this exact sentence and, one day, decided to repeat this sentence, endlessly.

This book, entitled You didn't let me finish my sentence, is about the sentence, or more precisely the reproduction of this sentence over and over again. The peculiarity of this sentence is that it is structurally finite but conceptually infinite and open to all possible variations, styles, media and interpretations.

This book is about the sentence as part of an endless stream in which the exact same words take different forms and shapes prolonging the nightmare born in Jack Torrance's mind. The sentence does not lend itself (or very rarely) to adaptations: no remix, no alterations, no changes in the words themselves. The sentence remains intact and invariably static. Of course the words may resonate differently from one author to the next but, ultimately, what is it that binds them all and mysteriously links them? Maybe there is a spell contained in this "lullaby". Maybe, re-writing the sentence is somehow uncontrolled, an urge which is virally transmitted everytime someone reads this line. The more you read it, the more it possesses you, crawls your mind and spreads around.

So be careful, "all work and no play" can make a dull life into a writing obsession and turn you into an obsessive, compulsive reproducer of this neverending sentence. If you feel your eyes and mind are ready to give it a try, the book which contains the sentence is ALL WORK AND NO PLAY. (Request PDF if you dare)

and Andy Warhol shot Andy Warhol (after JG Ballard)

And Alfred Eisenstaedt shot John F. Kennedy

and Neil Armstrong shot Buzz Aldrin

and Edwin E. Aldrin Jr shot Neil Armstrong

and Ira Rosenberg shot Muhammad Ali

and Annie Leibovitz shot Lance Armstrong

and George Hurrell shot Humphrey Bogart

and Ricardo Stuckert shot Bono

and Yousuf Karsh shot Winston Churchill

and Mark Seliger shot Kurt Cobain

and Luca Galuzzi shot the 14th Dalai Lama

and Philippe Halsman shot Salvador Dali

and Anton Corbijn shot Miles Davis

and Patrick Dermarchelier shot Princess Diana

and Levin C. Handy shot Thomas Edison

and Arthur Sasse shot Albert Einstein

and Yousuf Karsh shot Dwight D. Eisenhower

and Annie Leibovitz shot Queen Elizabeth II

and Richard Young shot Pope John Paul II

and Bruce McBroom shot Farrah Fawcett

and Walter Albertin shot Federico Fellini

and Alberto Korda shot Che Guevara

and Yousuf Karsh shot Ernest Hemingway

and John Kobal shot Audrey Hepburn

and George Holliday shot Rodney King

and Joshua Massel shot Michael Jordan

and David McGough shot Andy Kaufman

and Loomis Dean shot Grace Kelly

and Howard Sochure shot Martin Luther King

and Stanley Kubrick shot Stanley Kubrick

and Vincent Fantauzzo shot Heath Ledger

and L. Léonido shot Vladimir Lenin

and Andy Warhol shot John Lennon

and Annie Leibovitz shot Yoko Ono and John Lennon

and Alexander Gardner shot Abraham Lincoln

and Anne Clifford shot Sophia Loren

and Matty Zimmerman shot Marilyn Monroe

and Milton H. Greene shot Marilyn Monroe

and Robert H. Jackson shot Lee Harvey Oswald

and Robert H. Jackson shot Jack Ruby

and Annie Leibovitz shot Demi Moore

and Joel Brodsky shot Jim Morrison

and Arthur Schatz shot Jack Nicholson

and Petr Novák shot Robert De Niro

and Mark Shaw shot Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

and Henri Cartier Bresson shot Mahatma Gandhi

and Felix Nadar shot Louis Pasteur

and Bill Eppridge shot Robert Kennedy

and Yousuf Karsh shot Pablo Picasso

and W.S. Hartshorn shot Edgar Allan Poe

and John Domini Frank Sinatra

and Túrelio shot Mother Teresa

and Mark Seliger shot Christopher Walken

and Loomis Dean shot John Wayne

and Jim Hendin shot Marvin Gaye

and Ron Edmonds shot Ronald Reagan

and Carl Van Vechten shot Orson Welles

and Marion S. Trikosko shot Malcolm X

and Andy Warhol shot Andy Warhol

Crash on Ballard Street

October 30th, 2012
4 people taken to hospital after multiple car crash shuts down Ballard Bridge. Three people in the Prius were treated at the scene and taken to the hospital. One of the passengers suffered several fractures and was in stable condition when she was transported to Medical Center. Another passenger in the Prius was also taken to Medical Center. The taxi cab driver complained of neck injuries. Police is currently investigating the cause of the crash.

July 23, 2012
County Sheriff said Deputy, who suffered injuries as a result of an on-duty auto accident July 23 at the intersection of Ballard Avenue and Marvyn Parkway will likely have to undergo additional surgeries. “It turns out that the injuries sustained to his right eye were more severe than originally thought”. Deputy, a 12-year veteran with the County Sheriff’s Office patrol division, was injured when he swerved to avoid a deer. His K-9 partner, Mike, a Belgian Malinois, was also in his patrol car at the time of the accident.

May 24th, 2012
At approximately 9:48 p.m. on May 23, deputies responded to the report of a single vehicle crash. Mark Ballard, 52, suffered severe injuries after being ejected from his 1993 Dodge Dakota pickup truck. Ballard's vehicle apparently drifted off the road and then flipped after an over correction. The vehicle then rolled several times. Police determined that Ballard was under the influence of alcohol and prescription medication at the time of the accident. Ballard was cited to court for Operating a Motor Vehicle Under the Influence of Drugs/Alcohol 2nd Offense. Ballard has a prior conviction for DUI.

May 18, 2012
The truck rolled off the highway in a section of the road without a guardrail. Authorities said the vehicle rolled through a field and took out a fence. It landed in the yard of a home on Ballard Road. Investigators are not sure how many times the truck rolled. The driver was ejected, and he landed in some nearby bushes. The medical examiner says he died of internal injuries.

18 Apr 2012
The incident happened a little before seven on Tuesday night. Police say the girl was on her bike when she tried to cross Northland Avenue at Ballard Road. The girl was hit by a car, and then an SUV. She suffered serious injuries. Police are investigating.

December 27, 2011
The wreck happened at the intersection of Highway 29 and Ballard Road. Deputy Coroner says 17-year-old girl died in the crash, when she was ejected from the vehicle. She was not wearing her seatbelt. According to County Fire Chief, a tanker truck carrying 8,800 gallons of gas struck a car at the intersection. The cab of the truck then separated from the tanker and ended up in a wooded area. The tanker flipped upside down, and caused a small gas leak. Haz Mat crew spent several hours cleaning up the scene.

November 12, 2011
A rollover vehicle accident happened at about 1:20 p.m. at West Cross Avenue and Ballard Street, according to police dispatch. Information on the vehicles or condition of the drivers is currently unavailable.

August 21, 2011
A car crash has killed two people and left two others critically injured. The crash occurred just east of the Gordonton and Ballard Road’s intersection. Two vehicles were involved in the crash. The Serious Crash Unit, fire, police and ambulances are on the scene. Police believe one of the cars drifted across the centre line into the path of oncoming traffic. Road closures are in place at Ballard and Whitikahu Roads.

November 5, 2011
Witnesses to the wreck said the Honda sedan was traveling east on Ballard Road, had stopped at a stop sign, and then pulled out in front of the tanker, which was traveling north on U.S. 29. Witnesses said the car spun several times after being hit by the tanker and then went down an embankment.

December 22, 2010
The driver of a vehicle that ran off Ballard Road Wednesday, just past the intersection with Dimmick Road, was transported by helicopter to Medical Center for possible head injuries, according to Police on the scene.

July 16, 2010
The Highway Patrol is investigating, but no details were available Friday night. Lying upside down in the kudzu vines and with its passenger side driven in to a concave shape, the KIA was dwarfed by the Hummer that sat like a disabled tank nearby, its front end crushed, its dashboard displaced and its windshield shattered. Jackie and Tom Royal saw the helicopters hovering from their Ballard Road home and walked over to the crash site. They watched from a safe distance. Jackie Ballard shook her head. She’s seen too many serious accidents along U.S. 29, she said, in the 28 years she’s lived on Ballard Road with her husband. “This is a dangerous intersection,” she said. “There are too many cars, too much traffic and they drive too fast.”

April 4, 2010

Sunday morning, three young men were killed and one woman was critically injured when a speeding vehicle crashed into a steel pole in a Ballard parking lot. The accident occurred at about 4:40 a.m.

April 11, 2009

Police received a call at approximately 12:44 p.m. Saturday, April 11. They responded to the report of a major accident at N. Ballard Ave. and E. Oak St. where a man, driving a 2007 Ford F-150, was headed southbound on Ballard and struck two parked vehicles on the west side of Ballard. He then rear-ended a vehicle that was stopped for pedestrians. The F-150 pushed the vehicle into another vehicle on the east side of Ballard and struck another parked car on the west side of the street. The parked car was pushed through the glass windows and brick storefront of Wylie Sports and Apparel.





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Motor vehicle accident reports on Ballard Street/Road/Avenue/Bridge etc

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Sponsor

Isaac Asimov - I, Rowboat (recommended version)

1. A rowboat may not harm a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2. A rowboat must obey a human being, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3. A rowboat must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Chris Marker (1921 - 2012) - The Jetty / A Remix

“ I ” have a dream that one day [A FACE] will rise uuuuuup.
[A FACE] of ruins, though different. That [FACE] HE had seen from his
childhood, though different. A woman’s [FACE] ?
A [FACE] uninhabitable, riddled with birdsreal birds. With catsreal cats. With
gravesreal graves. Later, HE knew and some’time’ after, HE knew he was a man.
HE was the man over an empire of ratsreal rats.
“ I ” have a dream that one day, after painful tries, deep in this
limb’o, there it will be: the [FACE] <<<time of gardens, of flavors and benches} like landmarks in
museumsreal museums,,, though different.
Is it the same day? # HE doesn’t know# †he Fu†ure,,,,, better protected
than †he Pas†,,,,, <<<crumpling body, and the cries of the crowd}. The violent
scene upsets him and HE hears himself say : « This is where I come from ».
“ I ” have a dream today. Dreaming <<<
live in,,, the g’host selects his obsession whose meaning HE is to grasp only
>>>>years or hours later>>>>. HE never knows whose story we are telling
on the sixteenth day. >>>>Later>>>>, HE knows {he had seen a man
die}. A man they were able to conceive in peacetime bedroomsreal
bedrooms. While many died stripping out †he Presen† or seeking smilesreal
smiles.
“ I ” have a dream that one day the shock will be too great. The
man doesn’t want to die. HE suffers. HE remembers. HE is frightened. HE
speaks again. HE never knows. HE listens. HE exists. HE dreams. HE suffers,
exists, remembers and speaks again. And HE never knows. Like a sophism
merging |planes|||bodies|||and|||walls|. This world of childhood, of happiness,
though different.
This will be the day. A day, above the ground, a day subjected to
experiments without memories, without plans. As most of the world. Is it
the same day? Is it the f1rst, the tenth or the sixteenth day? >> †he
Momen† returns, empty and surprised to be born again. <<<
back>>> as a natural phenomenon, though different.
This must become true. As for him,,,, whether HE moves on the jetty
or whether HE walks on the balcony,,,, HE knows †he Mee†ing will take
place. HE feels the pacified dream of peacetime radioactivity. And the
criesreal cries of the crowd. And the cries of the [FACE]a real face
On this day, the countless walks behind the barriers of Fa†e will be driven
by strong mental images as †ime builds itself painlessly around (((him))),
‘f’r’a’g’m’e’n’t’ b’y f’r’a’g’m’e’n’t. Other images invent explanations but trust
remains unspoken. Images of tamed animals moving without effort
towards survival. « This is where I come from » but his dateless excitement
will be doomed.
Let freedom ring. Confessions settle in an underground network of
glass and plastic galleries. Beneath C***, beneath O***. The galleries
expanded,,,, off-limit,,,,, like a loophole in a trance. The human mind
recaptures an unreachable country,,,,, a long way to go.
When we let freedom ring, HE stands up. HE walks towards his
Mee†ing. A jetty? A balcony? HE recognises the man, the [FACE] who had
trailed him. HE hears. HE hears. HE hears again. The sudden roar, the
crumpling body and the cries of the crowd assembling around (((((him))))).
This Momen† is the Momen† of his own Dea†h.
Free. A brief encounter with a bullet and this is the end of the
experiment. HE is free at last. “ I ” am free at last ! ! !

JG Ballard (in memoriam) - Miracles of Life

"My years in the dissection room were important because they taught me that though death was the end, the human imagination and the human spirit could triumph over our own dissolution" (145)

"In the last few years The Atrocity Exhibition seems to be emerging from the dark, and I wonder if the widespread use of the Internet has made my experimental novel a great deal more accessible. The short paragraphs and discontinuities of the morning's emails, the overlapping texts and the need to switch one's focus between unrelated topics, together create a fragmentary world very like the text of The Atrocity Exhibition" (Miracles of Life, p. 237)

Maria Soudaïeva - Slogans

Maria Soudaïeva has invented here a verbal guerrilla interweaving names, foreign words, numbers and locations, playing on imperatives and ellipsis, endlessly naming and counting succumbing bodies, destroyed zones and irrational battles. Each sentence is a concentrate of hate and pain as well as a hateful and painful call to action. Each sentence adds violence to the previous one, enlarging its scope, enhancing its aggressiveness or desperation.
I. 20. INFLICT THE FINAL STROKE TO NATACHA AMAYOQ!
I. 21. NOT A SINGLE DREAM LEFT INSIDE NATACHA AMAYOQ’S REMAINS!
I. 22. NATACHA AMAYOQ, WE ARE WITH YOU!

Paradoxically, this language, « langue crypte » as Volodine would say, sounds both familiar and foreign and so is the context : war, terrorism, humans fighting and dying. The itemisation / atomisation of the text seems, at fist, to deconstruct and dissolve the meaning and the landscape. The extreme fragmentation reflects the nature of the fight : struggling against mental and physical destruction, holding onto the last strength, the last hope, or relinquishing altogether all of these:

III. 29. IF NOBODY REMEMBERS YOUR NAME WHEN YOU DIE, FORGET YOUR NAME!

III. 91. IF YOU STILL HAVE A HEAD, THROW IT AWAY!

III. 139. DISGUISE YOUR BODY IF YOU’VE GOT A BODY!

The « langue crypte » is a core but underlying theme within Volodine’s fiction. In most of his novels , he constantly refers to these bizarre voices and sounds originating from clandestine sources, and to these underground books which are written by poets and dissidents. « Slogans » clearly seems to be one of these books and Maria one of these voices. There is no doubt that Maria Soudaïeva probably is the most perfect post-exotic figure that Volodine could ever meet (they even became friends). Besides, her presence and spirit can be detected through most of the female characters in Volodine’s work and her words are actually featured in the novel « Le Port Intérieur » in which Volodine inserts some of Soudaïeva’s claims:

PIRATES OF THE SECOND SEA, COME TOGETHER!

OFFICERS ON THE WOUNDED SHORES, COME TOGETHER!

VETERANS OF THE ARMY OF THE HIVE, COME TOGETHER!

[Antoine Volodine, Le Port Intérieur, page 57, Les Editions de Minuit]


These slogans are meant to be written on walls and read in tunnels, caves or basements. They are meant to be whispered, uttered, muttered or shouted in the middle of ecstatic crowds or, alone, in front of an execution platoon. Maria’s sentences are meant to take the reader’s breath away but tend to elude any immediate interpretation ; some seem to have the same function as those war messages which were broadcasted on the radio (Radio Londres for instance) during WWII calling the Resistance to action. There is the same discrepancy between the mystery/beauty of the metaphors and the violence which these are supposed to trigger:
II. 36. PROTECT THE EGGS, BREAK THE NON-EGGS!
II. 152. NO SPIDER LEFT ON KOROGHO THREE!
II. 299. BEES ON THE FLOWERS AND THEN NITCHEVO!

If Maria Soudaïeva delivers a message, it is both to our senses and to our minds. In appearance absurd and hermetic, her encrypted phrases possess a very peculiar impact and a fascinating effect. As if she were talking an unknown language that everybody could understand.
II. 63. ELEVEN DISGUSTING TONGUES, ONLY ONE STRANGE LANGUAGE!
III. 71. LISTEN TO FOREIGN LANGUAGES WITH THE HUNCH IN YOUR EYES!
III. 144. IF YOU LACK YOUR TONGUE, WHISPER THE WORDS WHICH SPEAK BY THEMSELVES!


Maria Soudaïeva committed suicide in February 2003. The three chapters within this unique work close on similar words:
343. BAD DAYS WILL END
And curiously, three hundred and forty three is the specific number of books written by post exotic writers according to Volodine (in Le post-exotisme en 10 leçons, Gallimard). In this list, the reader is to find two books by Maria Soudaïeva! What we are suggesting here is, not just the bond between author and translator, but also how far Volodine went into the appropriation of Soudaïeva’s text and character. He strongly edited Slogans’ manuscript , certainly created the numbering, selected the order of the sections, possibly invented some of the chapter and section titles. The introduction to "Slogans", written by Volodine himself, is the work of a mythographer (turning Maria’s portrait into a myth) who is also trying to reveal the volodinian nature of Maria’s words and inspiration. Taking a step further and based on Volodine’s heteronymic aspirations, one might be tempted to deduce that Maria Soudaïeva is a post-exotic pseudonym for Antoine Volodine. This interpretation would therefore throw a completely new light on the role of Antoine Volodine as a translator! Furthermore, in Le post-exotisme en 10 leçons (Gallimard) Volodine indicates that one of the outstanding features of this litterary movement is the death of the author and the multiplication of voices, narrators and spokesmen. Maybe, what we have in our hands, this exciting book by Maria Soudaïeva is but the portrait of a fictitious translator as a spokesman or even an incubus altering the text to fit his own vision. One of the great achievements of this book is that we, readers, are lost in the middle of a litterary riddle, a void in which the author possibly belongs to fiction, the translator is a manipulator and the characters’ voices are so (beautifully) encrypted that they hardly provide any clue about who they are and where they are hiding.

The BabelFish Translator

In the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie

XkiZone - Dhead

"NOISE
nocive fiction têtale

STOP THE NOISE
logorrhée destop encervelée

FROM ALL THE UNBORN CHICKEN VOICES IN MY HEAD
et vox fractal est
un typhon fond fond de foetusccini boloniaises

KICKING AND SQUEALING GUCCI LITTLE PIGGY
éructe de parole succédanée
couinant à forge déployée le groin se dit simule:

OFF WITH HIS HEAD MAN
..........OFF WITH HIS HEAD MAN
....................OFF WITH HIS HEAD MAN
..............................offre spéciale de décollation

........................................... get your free radio head !

- Puissance impulsionnelle :.............................................. 178 W
- Taux de distorsion :......................................................... 0,95%
- Rapport signal/bruit :...................................................... 83 dB
- Temps de montée :........................................................... 35 µs
............................................................... NOW ! "

XkiZone: The Radiohead/Cortex Mix, Dhead (Le Quartanier)